Confession of a First-Year Missionary

by Laura on February 17, 2011

Just in case you would prefer listening to reading, here’s a vlog I did while I was processing the Guy in the Orange Shirt post (above). Essentially, the same “confession,” just spoken outside a coffeeshop . . .

Thanks for your grace as you’ve journeyed through this first year overseas right with me– mess and all.

Tagged as: culture shock, faith, first year missionary, missions, videos, vlog

http://www.hopefullydevoted.com Shelli Bourque

Laura, this was so encouraging to me! I am fairly new to really wanting to help the least of these, but it’s scary because I know I am not equipped to be the guy in the orange shirt. I am a WorldVision Child Ambassador and even have an orange shirt! But I’m not good at speaking boldly on their behalf.

I’ve been stuck knowing that God is calling me to do something, but what can I do with the skills/gifts that He has given me? I am learning that I really am more of a behind-the-scenes kind of person, and it is so encouraging to me that God can use that, too. I don’t have to be wearing an orange shirt for it to be real.

It may not be what you dreamed of, but what you shared today is fueling my dream to serve the least of these with the gifts God has given me. Thank you!
- http://www.lauraleighparker.com Laura
  
  Shelli, I love your heart and honesty and willingness to serve. It is beautiful and it is so valuable. SO valuable. I loved what you wrote:
  
  ” I don’t have to be wearing an orange shirt for it to be real.”
  
  Amen.
Anne-Marie Winter

Wow, wow, wow. This is exactly the type of thing I’ve been learning lately. I know God is calling me to “more” for the cause of Christ than staying simply in my comfort zone, but with a willingness to do whatever He wants of me comes the frustration in the waiting-game to see what He wants me to do. I’ve been trying to shift my thoughts from the “future” thinking of what God wants of my life in general and instead see how God can use me TODAY where He has placed me. But the ministry He seems to want of me today often can seem trivial or mundane.

I’ve been learning though that ministry often comes unexpectedly…by the way that we comfort a friend that needs some encouragement, by our willingness to have coffee with a girl who needs some positive mentors in her life, by sending out emails promoting an event that will hopefully bring people closer to Jesus, etc. This stuff isn’t “flashy.” It isn’t going to get you on the news or get you praise here on earth…and it often means sacrificing our work or sleep or play to do them. But God sees it, God uses it, and it’s God who is prompting it, and our desire for the “warm-fuzzy” feeling of doing things for Christ won’t seem to matter so much if we get the privilege to hear, “Well done good and faithful servant.”

And just so you know, God is using you in big ways to minister to people just through your faithfulness to share your life here. You’re an encouragement and a motivator and even if you can’t see the “flashiness” of it across the world, your words are a flashing light in my life and in the lives of many others.
- http://www.lauraleighparker.com Laura
  
  Anne-Marie,
  Girl you speak like seasoned veteran– hard to believe you are in your twenties! Really, though, I love the depth of your comment here, the recognition of service that is deeply good, though not necessarily “flashy.”
  
  And thanks for the encouragement, too.
  
  Keep being faithful in the everyday, waiting, serving, non-flashy. It matters.
http://www.permissiontoperuse.com Amy

I loved this post! I was just reading at withoutwax.com and the guest poster there Andy that is currently in India and he described it as using our “whiteness”. Yes, that could be taken wrong but I get it. It really is a western thing. Thanks for the encouragement to seek out ways to use the skills we have.
Amy recently posted..Tae Kwon Do – Day One
- http://www.lauraleighparker.com Laura
  
  Amy, thanks for the link– I’ll check it out.
  
  Whew, India sounds intense.
http://www.lifeisabowlofwedgies.blogspot.com/ Melody

What a powerful post. Thank you for your humility in sharing what ya’ll are learning. I get what you’re saying and I see a tendancy for that same orange shirt mentality in my own life. To set aside desires and sometimes even God given talent to accomplish what He has at hand (and it does seem to change with seasons) is not always easy to do.I guess it’s a part of denying self.
Melody recently posted..Divine ‘spiration
- http://www.lauraleighparker.com Laura
  
  “Denying self” to truly serve. Melody, absolutely. And I agree, too, that that service changes with seasons of life.
http://www.theitaliandyes.com Anne

I sometimes dream of orange shirts too! Learning to be still and serve right where I am at! Hardest thing ever! Thanks for sharing your heart!
Tamara

GREAT post!
The Lord has convicted me of my desires to be “orange shirt guy” as attention-seeking for ME every bit as for HIM. I’ve got to remember to leave the orange shirt in the closet!
So I truly appreciate your comprehensive thoughts here about the total spectrum of being a “missionary”. Thank you for this! We Western Christians (ok, I don’t know much about Eastern Christians) do tend to look at missions as “WE’LL save them!” kinds of works. Praise God for His words in Acts 1:8 that tells us to be His witnesses in Jerusalem (hometown), Judea (our area we know), Sumaria (where the bad guys are), and the ends of the earth (the great unknown). We have not only permission, but a mandate to serve / witness in all places. Wa-hoo!
Hugs to you and yours!
- http://www.lauraleighparker.com Laura
  
  Tamara– yes, totally, we Westerners have this mentality of “us saving them.” Which, at its root, feels pretty arrogant. And I guess it’s a by-product of being wealthy and independent and educated, which are all good things, I guess, but the fall-out can be that we assume too much, too often.
  
  Love your encouraging comments . . . as always! Really.
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