There’s a red light blinking in our house that makes me want to scream. It’s nearly always been blinking, and despite daily phone calls and accumulated hours on hold and confusing conversations with technicians, red it stays. It’s the light on the modem which indicates if we have access to the Internet at our house, and apparently no amount of my coaxing will turn it green.
We have been in Thailand for nearly 8 weeks, and still web access at our home alludes us. And I know I’ve given speeches before about how important it is to unplug and to enjoy the quiet of a media-free lifestyle, but in reality, I only think that’s important when I choose it and not when it is forced upon me. Because, really, that red light is driving me crazy.
Entitled. And this morning as I was fixing my coffee, I was asking God what He is trying to teach me with that stupid red light, and I was wondering if maybe I hurried up and learned it, He would give me Goggle back. And a word floated to the surface of my tired brain: it was entitlement. And I realized that one of the biggest reasons the lack of internet has bothered me is that I feel entitled to it. I assume that if I pay the money and make the phone calls and have the right equipment, then I have a right to wireless internet access at my home. And I’m learning that in a foreign country, you are entitled to less.
A lot less.
And, in fact, maybe in general life doesn’t owe us what we assumed it did. Healthy kids. An easy marriage. The stocks to increase as predicted. A baby when planned. Appliances to work all the time. The bonus at work. In America, we are privileged (whether we recognize it or not), and that privilege leads to some pretty high expectations about how things should go. And those expectations, when not met, tend to result in irritability, discontent, anger, negativity, or just plain rudeness. Just look at the way we generally respond when we are running late and the guy behind the counter gets our order wrong.
All of this inner processing took place during the pouring of hot water and scooping in of instant coffee granules this morning, and by the time I got to adding the powdered creamer, I was asking God if there was anything I was entitled to. And, immediately a verse from the Bible came to mind, “His divine power has given us everything we need for life (physical, spiritual) and godliness (Christ-like character) {2 Peter 1:3}.” As a Christ-follower, I already have everything I need. Maybe not all that I want, but all that I need to experience true life and to give real love.
And as the second cup of coffee cools in the cup, I’m thankful that God gently reminded me that no one owes me anything. I’ve already been given far beyond what my hands can hold, and for me to obsess about one blinking red light, well, it’s just
Ungrateful and Selfish.
So, Google and Hotmail and Skype, you’re just gonna have to wait. I reckon I don’t really need you guys after all.
Read more about my Wallowing on another day here.
ALifeOverseas.com / LauraParkerBlog.com.
Destined Traveler.
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Good, good thoughts, Laura…….and so true. Still, I hope and pray you get access to the internet soon!
Black electrical tape will make the red light magically disappear!
But…. where does one find black electrical tape?
Ahhhhh, At the market on Doi Saket Highway and ring road where 7 – 11 has magnum bars and the tea stall sells the best Thai Iced Tea around AND there is a little hardware store/stall that has it all. (he speaks english). Electrical tape can be better than internet when it comes with Thai Tea and magnum bars!
Zane and Jan, you know I have yet to taste a magnum bar. that’s gonna be on my to-do list this week for sure!
But we need you!
Such a great post. No matter how frustrating. It is so true. We have to be grateful. The rest is bonus. xo
I have so lived this! After four years in Scotland and one more in South Africa, I have learned this lesson, that often seems to come to the surface of an American heart abroad… but not in these words before. This is a good way to verbalize what’s been in my heart! Thank you! And thanks for dropping by my blog and leaving a sweet comment earlier! I am glad to have found you as well!!
P.S. I’m from North Carolina, too! Small world!
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