Nalo. We met Nalo last night. A little brown-faced six-year-old with big eyes and a quick smile. She played tag with Cade, held hands with Kelty, and petted Ava’s blond hair. She twirled on the swing set with my girls, she wrapped her thin arm around my waist a dozen times, and she giggled at the simplest things.
And Nalo and her older sister don’t have a father. He died some time ago, and their mother has a drug problem and is unable to care for her daughters. And, so, for the past few years, both girls have lived at Breanna’s House of Joy. It provides a refuge for them from the dangerous place that is their world.
Bedtime Routine. And later that night, our family of five got into the air-conditioned van and drove home to our air-conditioned home. The kids took warm showers and got clean pajamas out of drawers full of clothes. They settled down into comfortable beds and listened to a story. They had a mother and a father who prayed over them and tickled their arms and tucked them in. And in the middle of this process, I stopped to ask Kelty, my own six-year-old a question, “What do you think Nalo is doing right now?” And Kelty pauses, not sure what I am really asking. And I continue, “How do you think she gets ready for bed? Do you think anyone tucks her in at night? What if she has a nightmare? She doesn’t have a mom or a dad . . . ” And my daughter’s green eyes make the connection.
And compassion rises to the surface. She immediately starts talking about how we should adopt Nalo and have her as part of our family. She talks about wanting Nalo and her sister to spend the night at our house, and Kelty vows to share her room and her toys. And my daughter begs me to take care of someone else.
Proximity. One thing I am starting to learn in these jungles is that
closer proximity breeds greater compassion.
Regardless of your address on the planet, the closer you are to the poor, the bigger chance compassion has of being stirred. It’s hard to hear something that’s far away, and when we are isolated from the needy and insulated from the sick, their voices become much quieter. After all, it’s much easier not to show compassion for the mentally ill when you never rub shoulders with someone who is. It’s much easier to be cold towards the homeless when you’ve never had a conversation with a man with a box for a house, and it’s much easier not to feel too badly about the bedtime routine of an orphan, unless you just spent an hour playing with one.
And I know that in wealthy America sometimes it’s hard to get close to the poor, to the forgotten. I’ve lived there for 30 years, I know. But just because they don’t live in your neighborhood, doesn’t mean they don’t go to school with your kids or have a trailer next to your Walmart or stand with a sign at the stoplight downtown.
Because if proximity determines compassion,
then we all need to get a little closer.
“He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.” – Proverbs 14:31
“Very often we know enough to choose not to learn more lest we feel guilty . . . Rich Christians know enough about the ravages of poverty that we turn off the TV special on poverty . . . We know that knowing more will make us morally obligated to change.” – Ronald Sider, Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger
How do you foster compassion in your own home and life? Leave a comment.
ALifeOverseas.com / LauraParkerBlog.com.
Destined Traveler.
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I’m working on that. Yes. I’ve become isolated from poverty. Yes. I’m rusty in the area of true compassion.
How MIGHT I foster compassion? We’ll see.
Yes, it is so easy to become isolated from the poor around us. So easy. I think maybe making a habit of doing something whenever you see the homeless on the side of the road (pray for him in your care, buy a meal, etc). Volunteer at the soup kitchen in Co Springs for a night or at the Divide Food Pantry one Monday. It’s so hard, but it grants such good perspective, and is worth it, I think. Let me know what works for you, friend. Thanks for commenting . . . Laura
I think so often it is overwhelmingly daunting to think of helping the poor, needy, and sick; that to step into that realm might mean I have to completely give up everything in my life. Sometimes this is true, but sometimes it isn’t. Often it will be a short season that God uses. Perhaps it is just helping someone else who is doing an exceptionally hard thing to help the needy and will require a smaller sacrifice. I think we become afraid when we see it as all or nothing.
Oh I totally agree Kristy! The “all or nothing” mentality can be crippling. And you are right. Maybe it is just taking the time to pray for the homeless guy on the street or simply giving your stuff away to people that need it instead of selling it. Loving the poor doesn’t necessarily mean living in a hut. Thankfully.
this article changed my direction. long story short i have been debating to move to the OC down south… where it is warm, poverty is zilch, and its padded by comforts and selfishness. i wanted to move there because it would be great and would have an amazing time at the beach, but then i read this and realized your words are true. i want to stay close to the poor and be available to help. of course i need to think about the move more and am not just making my decision now, but im saying ur article was VERY powerful! thanks you guys for doing this in a real and sacrificial way. thanks for getting ur kids thinking about real, significant things and opening their eyes to the REAL world around them. thanks for giving yourselves for others.
Wow, Evan. Thanks for reading and for commenting. But mostly, thanks for being open to the idea of “downward mobility.” I think it totally looks different for each person, but I love your heart in asking the hard, practical questions. You rock, dude.
L
Can’t get any closer than inviting them into your home and just holding them. Just do it. I do realize it’s not for everyone but these kids have been such a blessing to me. It is a sacrifice but God asked and we obeyed. There are so many more blessings than burdens. It has been cool to see change in Julia, Ellie, and Isaac as they breed compassion and help love on these new babies. They are certainly little blessings to our family. Invite the poor into your home for coffee, lunch, overnight, or maybe for a lifetime. Watch your life and your heart change. Thank you Lord for these new additions to our family – Gabriel (3) and Arianna (18 months). And thank you for Laura and this ministry.
Thanks, A-M. And I think that being a foster parent is such a practical, radical Christ-following. It is embracing the victims in our own neighborhoods and showing love to the smallest who are so broken by the grown-ups.
I have no doubt that you are all being impacted by those two little people in your home! Love you guys.
For real.
I was recently informed of your blog site and have been following your posts. I appreciate your candid heart and your desire to help the poor. This post made me think and for that, I thank you. The following two questions arose: In respect to the material possessions of which you speak, how poor is poor? Also, regarding proximity-How close is close?
Great Question. And I don’t think there is a definition of what qualifies as “poor enough.” I just think that if we as Americans will make the effort to look around us, we will find that we are surrounded by those who are less fortunate than ourselves–right in our cities, but also globally. And I think that just moving closer to people in need–whether that means donating money or mentoring in an after-school program or fostering kids–will radically change US.
Thanks so much for stopping by and I appreciate you taking the time to comment! Take Care, L
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